Funny Malaysian Humour

Wife: How many women did you sleep with before you married me?
Husband: 1) none. They all kept me awake all night
2) Let me see. One,two,three,four....


Teacher: How lod is your mother?
Matt: She is as old as i am
Teacher: How can that be?
Matt: She became my mum only when i was born
Teacher: Hmm,interesting. And what was your mother beofre her marriage?
Matt: Before her marriage,I had no mother

the middle-aged man named John sidled up to the young sweet hottie. "where have you been all my life?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
Lookin at him coolly,she said "Well,for half your life,i wasnt even born yet"
But he refused to give up and said "I may be old enough to be your father, but i am rich enough to be your husband.So what is your phone number?"
"it's in the phone directory" she replied
"and your name?" he asked
"it's also in that phone directory"

A six year old boy was lost in the department store.As his mother was being paged,a sotre staff asked him "was your mother walking to fast?"
he said "No,but i was..every step my mum took i had to take 3..and i became too tired to continue walking"
"but if you held on to your mum's dress,she'd have realsied that you stopped"the staff said
"My mum was wearing a mini skirt" he said "..and i couldnt reach it"